Don't You Know You're In My Neighborhood?

Sal called last night. I knew it was him, sloppy breathing into the receiver, with the television turned up way loud behind him.

"Hello? Hello?"

It was a baseball game he was watching, though it was almost two o'clock in the morning my time. Five, in Washington. I recognized Charlie Slowes, the Nationals' announcer in the background.

"Jesus Sal, you really shouldn't call at this hour. And you shouldn't be watching the Nats replay. Watching that team's bad for the soul."

"Easy for you to say. We took two of three last weekend, need I--"

"A once in a lifetime occurrence, Sally. It'll never happen again."

"Whaddya think of this Milledge kid?" he asked me after a minute. He didn't want to fight, thank God. I'd have been up all night.

"Lastings Milledge?"

"No, Derrick Milledge. High school player in Bend, Oregon. I think we'll get him in the second round, if the Tigers don't take him first. He's the savior of our franchise."

"My God, you're not calling to talk about a savior for the Nationals? The only savior you can hope for there is all that anger that's gonna send Frank Robinson to the cardiac ward eventually. Then you can--"

"Plus-slider, 98 mile an hour heater, hammer curve. We're not talking about Boof Bonser here, the guy's got--

I knew where this was going. Last time I talked to Sal he got all heated about arcane statistics like BABIP and park-adjusted EQA. I asked him about a proposed Izturis-for-Ryan Church trade and he damn near flew through the roof. "Don't talk to me about that banjo slappy!" he shouted. "Church is a three-true-outcomes hitter."

"Good for you, Sally. Good for you and all your rotarian buddies," I said now. "All I know is, the game gets played on the field. The game gets won on the field. And next time you bring that east coast business into my house, you might just be sorry you did."

Archie Sez

David Sez

Rance Sez

Just A Friendly Game

Glavine and Maddux-Chicks Dig The Long Ball (YouTube Link)